Gifting Gratitude for Father's Day

As Father’s Day approaches, we prepare to celebrate all the special men in our lives. Not only our own dads and those of our children, but also the ones who supported us as father figures. From grandfathers and uncles to mentors and family friends, many of us hold gratitude for the loving and caring men in our lives.

Growing up, my father was a tough man with very rigid rules and regulations. He ran a tight ship, to say the least. He took my responsibilities very seriously. My chores had to be done, and had to be done properly. He would even hide things so he could check to make sure I did my chores the right way. My dad was also very strict about time. If I was even one minute late, he wanted to know why I wasn’t one minute early.

My father had high standards and pushed hard and often. If I got a 99% on a test, he wanted to know why I didn’t get 100%. He wanted me to do my best and be all that I could be. My first job at Bell’s Supermarket resulted from him pushing me to get a job. He woke me up early to go apply. I hated having to put myself out there, but once I got the job, I really enjoyed working there and was thankful that he made me do it.

I was also responsible for my own phone line, which was another thing my dad made me do. I was always tying up my parents’ phone for hours on end, so once I had a job, it was my responsibility to pay for my own line. I also paid $10 - $15 for room and board. Of course, I thought these rules were awful and unfair.

As I grew up, my dad went out of town for work. We would share many conversations over movies, about boys and other adolescent matters. His advice was always straightforward, if not a bit overboard at times - especially when it came to boys. I had to laugh at some of the things he told me to do, but the conversations were deep and meaningful, and that’s what I remember most.

Aside from my father, I also had my Uncle John, who was a constant in my life. He loved me unconditionally and always listened with an open heart. No matter what, I knew he was there for me. He always told me that as long as he was alive, he’d always be there for me, and I’d always have a place to go. He was such a blessing. My heart still aches tremendously from his passing in October of 2021 after succumbing to COVID. Around the same time, my cousin (his only son) was also claimed by the deadly virus. It was a devastating loss.

As a dedication to these incredible men who supported me throughout my life, I created a new journal, Finding Gratitude, A Simple Path to Happiness. Though I was inspired to create it specifically with men in mind, it can certainly be enjoyed by anyone.

The thought behind it was that so many men are in need of a space to express their feelings, thoughts, and gratitude, just as we all do. For many, this can be a foreign and difficult (or even impossible) concept. Boys are often taught that they’re supposed to be strong and have it all together. However, under the surface, many are suppressing emotions or even hiding depression, anxiety, etc.

I’ve seen it many times, men carrying the facade or mask of happiness, pretending nothing is wrong. It can be terribly damaging to lack the ability to get in touch with our feelings. My hope is that this journal, with its beautiful black-and-white photography and prompts to stir up ideas and thoughts, will provoke and grant permission to experience emotions. Some call these morning pages, brain dumps or just dumps. They are a way of processing and getting out old, stuck thoughts and feelings.

There’s a great deal of science behind writing and getting things out of the brain and down onto paper. When we do this, life starts to feel lighter as we’re able to offload some of the heaviness we carry around on a day-to-day basis. This allows us to be better prepared when feelings of anxiety, stress, anger or sadness do arise. Think of it as a tool in your toolbox to help you stay out of those dark and lonely places that no one talks about (especially MEN).

Grab your copy of Finding Gratitude, A Simple Path to Happiness here.

To all the amazing men (past and present) in my life, and in yours, to the biological dads, the chosen dads, those who raised us, and those who simply chose to love us unconditionally - I wish you love, gratitude, and a very happy Father’s Day.