What it Means to be Resilient
Through the practice of grateful living, and with the tools that Positive Psychology has provided me, I have been able to recover from some deep devastation. Of course we all go through different levels of stress, painful events, transitions, etc. Both the good and the bad can create stress in our lives, and we each experience life differently. What is easy for some may not be so easy for others. Although we are alike in so many ways, our experience of emotions is very personal to each of us. When we live through difficult situations or events, our ability to bounce back, to to be happy again, is called resilience.
October of 2021 was a particularly difficult month for me. Both my beloved uncle and cousin died from Covid, just three days apart. It was devastating. Yet at the same time I was able to feel all of my emotions, not only the sorrow. This is so important to note, because people sometimes believe that gratitude means not expressing or feeling emotions other than happiness. However this is a fallacy. In order to be healthy and thrive, we need to hold the positive and the negative emotions. We must allow ourselves to experience gratitude, but also sit with our grief and all of the other feelings that come up for us.
After years of practicing gratitude and studying positive psychology, my brain is poised to be on the lookout for the good. So in the midst of the grief, I also saw the gifts. I was thankful to have had these two special people in my life for as long as I did. I relished the time we spent leading up to their illness. We laughed and told each other how much we loved each other. I hold onto these special pieces to help me heal. This is resilience at its finest. Not easy, but a way forward.
Life can be hard as we navigate all that is going on in the world. Whether it be the stress we experience in our day to day lives, or devastating events, it is important to feel all our emotions. Through our vast array of thoughts and feelings, if we can think about what we’re grateful for, look for the good, we’ll see that we may find it.
I witnessed so much kindness in my community in Buffalo, NY, in the midst of the recent shooting at a local grocery store. Tragic events like this call on our need to be resilient in order to find our way through the devastation. When we open our minds and our hearts to the beauty and the good that remain, we find glimmers of hope to hold onto.
There are many resources for help or coaching in the area of positive psychology so reach out if you need to. You are not alone!
Try this activity to help build your resilience!
Start a gratitude jar. Grab an empty jar. You can decorate it if you like but it’s not necessary. Start writing down things you are grateful for each day on scraps of paper and add them to your jar. Encourage everyone in your house to participate.
When life feels overwhelming, the stress builds up, you encounter a difficult situation, or just need a pick-me-up, go to your jar and read all the things you are grateful for as a reminder to savor those things in your.