How to Be More Resilient

With the holiday season now in full swing, there are seemingly endless tasks to tend to. From decorating and shopping, to parties and other obligations, it can leave us feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated.

For women, we often feel responsible for making everything perfect at the holidays, which inevitably leads to stress, not eating properly, lack of sleep and an overall lack of self-care. The next thing we know, the holidays are over and did we even enjoy them? Did others? At what cost (physically, mentally, emotionally and even financially) did we overextend ourselves?

Herein lies the reason that resilience is so crucial to our wellbeing. The more resilient we are, the easier it is to take things in stride, to bounce back from difficult situations and to recover from stress. You can read my previous blog post for more on what it means to be resilient.

There will always be stress, there’s just no way around that. However, there are ways we can train our brains to become more resilient so we’re better able to rebound faster.

Don’t Overdo It

First of all, try not to go overboard. This only sets us up for disappointment and unnecessary stress. Keep your expectations realistic and if you can’t get to everything, so be it! Remember, the ability to say ‘no’ when needed can be life changing, especially if you’re naturally a people-pleaser. So set boundaries and don’t be afraid to make them known. And most of all, recognize your limits and be gentle with yourself.

Recruit Help

Another important skill to develop is the ability to ask for help when you need it. This can be a a difficult one for women as well, since we are often the doers of all things. This year, recruit help when you need it. Ask a family member to share the load. Or make a plan with a friend to help each other - you’ll get to spend time together while providing each other with support. And two heads are always better than one!

Keep It Simple

Opt for meaningful gifts this year. Give the precious gift of your time. Being present and engaged is the best gift we can give. Write a gratitude note and wrap it with a bow. Have lunch or cup of tea and really visit. Gifts from the heart are the most unforgettable ones. When it’s all said and done, these are the things people truly remember.

Prioritize Your Wellbeing

Take micro breaks during the day, ideally every 60 to 90 minutes. Simply stop, close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths (set an alarm on your phone if need be). Doing so will actually increase your wellbeing and make you more productive. When we exercise, we stress our muscles and, over time and with adequate recovery, we become stronger. If, on the other hand, you workout today, and the next day, and the following day without giving your body a break, you’ll do more harm than good. The same goes for our emotional wellbeing. Short breaks give us the necessary time to recovery so we can remain strong and avoid burnout.

Get Adequate Rest

Avoid exhaustion by listening to your body and giving it what it needs. Aim for a good night’s sleep and take small cat naps during the day if needed. Remind yourself that everything will get done; and if it doesn’t - that’s okay! The world will not come to an end if every gift isn’t perfectly wrapped, your table isn’t Instagram-worthy, or every dessert isn’t made from scratch. It’s okay to take short cuts to save time, which would be better spent on self-care.

Practice Gratitude

The most powerful and effective way to become more resilient is to practice gratitude. We can change the neuropathways in our brains through continual practice and, in turn, we start to see the world through this new lens. Eventually, even in the most difficult times, we are able to find the good.

So this year, consider changing things up a bit. Go forth through this holiday season with an emphasis on building your resilience. Focus more on yourself and time with your loved ones. Rather than striving to make everything perfect for everyone, take a step back and think about what really matters.

Seek out opportunities to engage with each other, be present, and go for meaningful gifts. Revisit the suggestions above as often as needed to remind yourself of how you can positively affect your emotional wellbeing. It takes intention and effort, but the calm and peace of mind you’ll gain will be so worth it!